Recently, I have had to confront my reluctance to invite counsel in my life from spiritual fathers that God has placed in my life to watch over me, to speak into my life, and to provide wisdom; correction, and direction. I must admit sometimes I do not know allow wisdom to speak to me. There are times, when I want to reject truth and abort the very pains of growth. Admittedly, I have often allowed the absence of my father to alienate in a sense from allowing positive male influences to really have a voice in my life.
I’ve been truly blessed to have great men whom God placed in my path to mold me and to fill the void that my father’s absence left. My father often showed up during big events that occurred in my life, but he missed a lot of other crucial moments. I became accustom to the Houdini act (i.e. here one moment, and gone the next), and I learned to anticipate disappointment and abandonment because that was what I was used too. I think I got used to the idea, of having fleeting moments of fathering versus closely connected relationships in my life. There are even times in my marriage, where I’ve being distant, guarded, and somewhat disconnected as not to allow myself complete vulnerability. Marriage has forced me to confront my issues, in pursuit of establishing a healthy relationship and environment for my children.
“The hard reality is that people can be physically present, but so emotionally disconnected that they neglect to nurture the important things in their life.”
For most of my childhood, my father was physically present, but emotionally disconnected. As I begin to reflect, I realize that God always has a ram in the bush. I’ve discovering that my past experience does not have to overshadow, what is currently present in my life. Truthfully, our heavenly father never leaves us void. He fills the holes in our heart and provides us with everything we need. We just need to receive what he gives us, with thankfulness knowing that he shows further his goodness and mercy by giving us just what we need. It is the very voids in our life, which draw us to our heavenly father. In my weakness I pray even the more for his strength and healing. We are all in need of the heavenly fathers’ love, oversight, and provision. He teaches us to love even those that appear to be absent in our life, and he helps us to understand, that they can only extend the amount of love that they have known. I love my father, and am thankful for my spiritual fathers, and I lean on my heavenly father during the moments when the yearning for my biological father is great.
Heavenly Father, I thank you for being constant in my life. Thank you for placing spiritual fathers in my life who love you, speak wisdom, and give guidance in my life to direct me, and help me to become the woman, that you have purposed me to be. Thank you for bringing order into my life, and teaching me the importance of having spiritual guidance and influence in my life. Help me to be open to receive wise godly counsel. Help me to recognize and value the people you placed in my life. Amen.